There’s No Such Thing As Perfect
“If you look for perfection, you’ll never be satisfied”
- Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
The idea of perfection is alluring. Most of us have probably bought into it, in one way or another. Perfection whispers to us: if only I could do this better, if only I could be that person, then I’d have the life, job, [insert thing], that I want most. But the truth is, there’s no such thing as perfect. And if you believe otherwise, you’re likely holding yourself back.
We put emphasis on perfection because it suggests protection. When we plan enough, prepare enough, or improve enough, we can be protected from failure, rejection, disappointment.
However, lived experience shows that perfection is a moving target – just as we’re closing in on it, it takes on new forms. When we idolize perfection, we’re left feeling that we’re never quite ready, never quite good enough, or never quite finished. The idea of perfection is enticing, but when we take a step back, we can see that it creates a dangerous paradigm.
There have been times where I’ve wanted to do something outside my comfort zone, but instead held off, because I was waiting for the “perfect” moment to arrive. Spoiler alert: it will never arrive.
In waiting for this moment, weeks pass, and I find myself no closer to having started. Through this idleness, negative emotions can creep in: frustration, disappointment, shame. Suddenly, the task itself is accompanied by working through these emotions – a parallel task. In other words, when we let perfectionism dictate our actions, we can experience setbacks.
What can we do to challenge our perfectionist tendencies? Act. It seems simple, but it’s not easy – because perfectionism creeps into our subconscious. When we fight through the fear, when we take action, we deny perfectionism the opportunity to come up for air. There is so much more to gain through action than there is through trusting that perfectionism has our best interests in mind.
The self-exploration that is built into coaching gives clients an opportunity to examine perfectionism: how it plays into their thinking, and the consequences of choosing to let it have influence. Clients come to recognize that perfectionism does more harm than good and discover alternatives that are much more empowering.
If that type of work sounds of interest, I’d love to connect – please feel free to reach out via DM or book time for a no-cost discovery call on my website.
Some questions for reflection:
How does perfectionism manifest in your life?
Do you find that striving for perfection inspires you, or holds you back?
What would your life look like if perfectionism had no influence?
