On Resilience
“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor”
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Many of us have a rough idea of plans, a vision of what the future might look like, in work and/or in life. Many of us have also experienced those plans failing to materialize for one reason or another. Where do we go from there?
Mike Tyson famously said that “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” I may be wrong to assume, but I estimate approximately zero readers of this post are professional boxers – yet we can still take something away from Tyson’s words: to me, they are a call to resilience.
The “punches in the mouth” that most of us will encounter are less violent than for Tyson, but equally impactful in how they relate to our plans. Your company undergoes a reorg, or worse, layoffs; your longtime client takes their business elsewhere; your significant other ends things. Whatever plans you had, however you expected the future to play out, changes in an instant. It’s inevitable that life will throw you some curveball, knock you to the floor, and leave you questioning things you thought you knew.
Resilience makes clear that there’s only one choice – to get up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. Few if any other traits have such power. For anyone who wants to be the best they can be, resilience is the oxygen that keeps the inner fire burning, even in the middle of a storm.
For some, resilience is a natural quality, something they’re born with. For everyone else, resilience can be learned. Don’t just take my word for it – science backs it up.
Crucially, to develop resilience, one must be exposed to adversity. Yet with a simple reframing, what might be seen as an obstacle, or setback, can be thought of instead as an opportunity to be resilient.
This truth about resilience brings us to FDR’s quote. It implies that sailors develop their skill in the rough seas, through having to navigate challenges. Not in the easy times. Similarly, to build resilience, we must confront adversity head-on, trusting that we can not only survive, but that we’ll be made stronger for it.
Like most other things, the first time you experience “rough seas” will likely be the hardest. But you will make it through. Then you find yourself in rough seas another time, and you remember that you’ve survived before – why is this time any different? Before you know it, you’ll see yourself as the skilled sailor, resilient, ready and able to find your way through whatever obstacle is in your way.
Coaching is an environment to sound out fears, mental blocks, feelings of ineptitude, difficult emotions that might hold someone back from leaning into resilience. Through transparent, judgment-free conversations, clients have opportunities to uncover new thoughts and beliefs – enabling them to recognize the importance of resilience and approach their “rough seas” with confidence and strength.
Some questions to reflect:
How do you view obstacles?
Would being more resilient benefit you?
If not resilience, what trait(s) do you leverage in the face of adversity, stress, or challenges?
Whether you’re looking to develop more resilience, or work through any other blockers to the best version of yourself, coaching makes possible fundamental change and progress. If you’re interested in exploring working together, I encourage you to reach out to me, either over email (jake@jakelanger.com), Instagram (@jakelangercoaching), or directly on my website: jakelanger.com.
