On Change
“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety”
- Abraham Maslow
The adage is true – if we aren’t changing, we aren’t growing. Yet recognizing this truth is the easy part; making change is often much more difficult. Committing to change, refusing to fall back on old habits, requires vigilance. It’s hard work.
I believe that those who choose not to change, to grow, are denying themselves a key part of human experience. Each of us is capable of doing and achieving great things, yet our fears provoke us to think small, keep our ambitions in check, and view our obstacles as too much to conquer.
Fear wants to hold us back from change, because change is what defeats fear.
There is something alluring about the “known” that can make us resistant to change – even when what’s known is unhealthy or destructive. What’s known feels relatively safer, particularly compared to the vague and nebulous unknown. However, the unknown is the birthplace of fear.
Yet when we choose (not) to act in fear of what might happen, we cede control to our imagination. When fear takes hold of our imagination, we catastrophize, scaring ourselves into believing that worst-case scenarios are inevitable. But with a little bit of courage and resilience, we can reclaim agency and take steps toward change.
Coaching in this context is a space where we can build the necessary skills and strength to grow more comfortable with change. It is a space articulate fears, think through the beliefs that sit behind our fears, and develop the strength to win out over whatever holds us back.
When I first became a manager, I had a very tough time delegating work to my direct reports. I found myself afraid of the consequences of missing a mistake in their work – that it would be a poor reflection of me. However, in practice, my fears were manifesting as distrust for my direct reports, who were eager to take on more responsibilities.
What sat underneath my fear, I realized, was distrust in myself. I discovered that what made my fear so powerful was that I believed I wasn’t capable of catching mistakes on work that I didn’t complete myself. I also realized that I was assuming that the work they’d deliver would be full of errors – there was little justification for that belief.
Once I clarified what was driving my fear, it became easier to commit to change. I viewed the process of reviewing others’ work as not only necessary, but a valuable skill that would make me a better manager. This shift resulted in a win-win – I was able to give my direct reports more responsibilities, while also expanding my own professional toolkit.
Maslow’s quote reveals the central tension that exists in every moment, but becomes highlighted in times of uncertainty. When we step forward, we change and we grow. We get closer to the life we want for ourselves. When we step backward, we receive the comfort of safety. But safety comes with a significant cost, as it limits our ambition, keeping us further from our goals and desires.
Some questions for reflection:
How does fear manifest in your life?
Have you considered where your fears come from?
What would it take for you to step into the unknown?
Is the thought of making change uncomfortable? If so, why?
Together we can create an action plan to conquer your fears and pursue changes that get you closer to where you want to be in life, at work, or both. If that sounds interesting to you, let’s have a conversation and explore possibilities. Email me anytime at jake@jakelanger.com, or book a time directly on my website.
